Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Cowboy Billie Arrives And It's Not Going Well . . .

A few words of advice for you fee-an-says out there:
Prospective Grooms:
While booking a honeymoon in Paris is a fabulous idea, traveling halfway across the world with a woman you'd never met before today might not be the best of ideas.  You don't want to hear "I hate flying and I'm going to puke all over you if you make me get on that damn thing" when you arrive at the airport.

Prospective Brides:
Bringing along your bridesmaids, festive as they might be in their party hats, is a bad idea.  Especially if they're still drunk from the reception.

Prosective Grooms:
Ditto for your horse.

Prospective Brides:
Upon arrival in Paris, don't give him a dirty look and announce: "If you think you're gonna stick that little twig in ME you've got another think comin', buster!"  Headaches are a better excuse and don't immediately emasculate the groom (better to do that slowly and painfully over a looooong period of time).

On the bright side, what more can go wrong? 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

14 comments:

  1. Hmmm, doesn't sound like this union is off to a good start. Perhaps a little counseling is in order.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Candle light, Barry White on the radio, a bed and a private room.

    They'll be burnin' tinder in no time ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. HAHAHAHAHHAAA! I can just imagine the look on your husbands face while you are setting up and taking these photos. Maybe he was hidden away in the workshop, wrenching on his Harley. I'd like to see a post of his Harley's in a romantic interlude! You crack me up Christine. Best wishes to the newlyweds.

    P.S. How was the wedding?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Because Bill wanted to get Billie on the honeymoon pronto (being a long-time lonesome cowpoke and all) they just did the Justice of the Peace thing. A proper wedding has been planned for later--that is, if they're still together after Paris . . .

    ReplyDelete
  5. I personally love the Bird-maids! Cowboy Bill should take his time with the new Mrs!! Champagne and candlelight might do it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yes, but did you order them a little bed, or are you expecting them to perform on a window sill?

    Little bottles of booze and maybe a pretty nightie might help too...

    ReplyDelete
  7. What a hoot, Miss C! Your story tale is a hoot. I can mentally envisiage you setting it all up and getting the light right and so forth. Hahah! Oh man! Hilarious, lady C!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Well no wonder Billie is pissed. Justice of the Peace? NO WAY. She wants the Bridezilla wedding extravaganza. Tell Bill to start shelling out some wampum.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Maybe a trip to Paris was a little too much for poor Billie and the drunken birds....perhaps a little R&R on the ranch getting to know one another BEFORE HEADING off to Paris. After all, she had been cooped up in a box for awhile...I think she will come around...give the union some time!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Is Billie related to Annie Oakley? Maybe that's where she gets her attitude. Cowboy Bill might otter use caution when frisking her...she might be a sharp shooter like her cousin!

    Liz

    ReplyDelete
  11. ...poor Miss Billy. She's LOST in the BRIGHT LITES of Paris! She just wanted to get to know her 'stud' with a little tender lovin' under the stars on the prairie with a bed-roll and a bottle of whiskey, ~ being serenaded by Cowboy Bill singing along with his acoustic guitar (nothing wins a Gals heart like THAT!!) before being swept off to the BIG CITY for a Hot time on the town!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Christine? Where ya been? I keep watching for your daily posts, but oddly, you are SILENT. That's ODD! LOL Hope you are all right. Am wondering if you and your family are okay. (I'm a worrier, my mother's daughter for sure!)

    Hugs,
    Liz

    ReplyDelete
  13. Ditto Ninny's concern... It's not like you AT ALL!! Hope all is okay - send us a sign...
    S-

    ReplyDelete