Miz Chicken found little Melvin dead in the corn can yesterday. Vintage Christine, in her guise as Sherrylock Holmes, conducted the following investigation:
As much as it pains me to present the following evidence, in the interest of justice, it must be done:
Original club poster:
Cat highly upset upon subsequent removal as Melvin Fan Club President due to inflammatory statements regarding "tastiness" of victim.
Dogs allege: "He vowed revenge!"
Did not sleep with human Saturday night. Human cried, "But he NEVER sleeps with me, the goddamn unappreciative cat! But that doesn't mean he KILLED him!!"
Vintage model Ford Fairlane found Sunday evening with missing back tire and hundreds of additional miles on the teeny tiny odometer.