Friday, April 16, 2010

Friday Cavalcade of . . . WHAT THE F**K??!!


Please remind me again WHY IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT'S HOLY we ever thought buying a condo in the state of Florida was a good idea?  Did my husband know the truth and is banking on me going stark raving mad so he can commit me and abscond with my Pyrex?  (Well, no, that would pretty much mean he's gay and although I'm the Queen of All Fag Hags I kinda don't want to be HIS fag hag).  So ok, he also had no idea that buying a condo in Florida is probably the stupidest thing you'll ever do in this life or any other, but oh well, we're doing it and as God is my witness we'll NEVER go hungry AGAIN!  Oh wait, that was a "Mick-ism".  Wrong movie quote (on purpose ha ha).

So back to what I was intending to write about--the Friday Cavalcade of STUFF, slightly edited due to receipt of a mysterious box with an envelope taped to the front with a North Carolina return address.  Hmmm.  Miz Chicken.  What's SHE up to?  So I open the card first and lo and behold!  She has somehow managed to secretly take my picture at the beach and turned it into an EXTREMELY EMBARRASSING birthday card!  How clever of you, Miz Chicken.  And just when is YOUR birrthday, hmmmmmmmMMMMMMMM?
(I can't believe I'm actually putting this up as the post's first photo since it's going to show up on every else's blog!).

THIS IS NOT ME!  And yet, here's what was inside the card:
"Birthdays are the buttcrack sand in the swimsuits of our lives.  Have a good one."
And then she writes:  "I don't know why this card made me think of you, but it did."  (Well, there's more, but this first sentence, for some ODD reason, got my attention). 

But then I opened the box and all that crap about buttcracks and being fat just sort of faded away.  She sent me THE GREEN HAT. 

The green hat that I oooed and ahhhed over when she first displayed the amazing hat haul she made at the auction.  If I were a swooner, ladies, I wudda swooned.  It now has a place of honor atop Stella's pretty head.  Stella's mixed up some cocktails and is waiting for her mobster boyfriend and I'm sure he'll want to ravish her in his burly hot 'n sweatey animalistic way with her all nekkid except for that divine hat and a pair of platform shoes.  Uh oh.  Is this post teetering on the brink of no-no land?   Just to let you know, I did try to put the hat on Holly the dog and she probably would have gone for it had I not thoughtlessly stuck her with the hatpin.  Surprisingly, HER head is not made out of styrofoam like Stella's here.

Some of my collection of hobnail milk glass.  I also have a gorgeous epergne down at the antique mall.

Westmoreland Glass Beaded Grape honey dish on the left and Westmoreland Glass Paneled Grape basket.  They are tooooo beautiful!

Mike fixed the vintage cloth cord on my fabulous carnival prize horse clock and it runs like a champ.  I saw the little red lampshade when Missouri Michael was featuring red things one day and I had to have it.  I think it might be a wee bit too small but who cares.  I love it on my little leaping deer lamp!

Tomorrow I'm going to show you what ELSE I got in the mail from the MAH-vah-lus ZootSuitMama.  What a day!!!


  1. You are a tall glass of wine on a Friday night, make it a double, after a week of three yr-olds! What a deee-light post!


  2. Wow!"Mick-ism" I have a term coined after me! haha I like it! What a cool hat, you'll have to wear that to "As Time Goes By" (im doing a whole post about propper attire sunday! :) Happy friday!

  3. Oooo ahhh! I love looking at other folks vintage goodies!

    And the card was hilarious!! We love Mz Chickens lol, and we love you!

    P.S. my friend was in real estate for 20 years, if you ever have a question ;) Guy is brilliant. =)

  4. I love your deer lamp and the lampshade- fabulous!!

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  6. I DID NOT CALL YOU FAT! As a matter of fact, if your read my post today, I called myself a FAT ASS! I think the card reminded me of you because you are buying a beach house! Poor Holly! We'll have to find a scarf to tie the hat on her...unless she wants to pierce both ears and we'll run the hat pin through them. This is getting weird!

    We have some of the same milk glass hobnail stuff. I have the wide skinny vase, the ruffly one and the epergne. Twins, right?

    Have a fun weekend!

  7. Hahahahahaha! Am I the Barbara that's squeamish? (I'm not)

    Looks like Anna raided my photo collection - damn, I meant to toss that picture of me. And then YOU post it! NOT fair!

    PS: Good score!!

  8. Thanks Christine, I needed that! Why do the words butt and crack together make us all laugh? Hope you're having a happy Friday night.

  9. That Miz Chicken is one special lady but so are you! How awesome that she sent you that marvelous hat and I for one am ready for more of the story.... whoo hoo! LOVE your milk glass!

  10. Wow wow wow! That hat is amazing and everything is so divine!!!

  11. Beautiful milk glass collection! Nice blog you have here. Cracks me up!

  12. I looovve that horsey clock and that gorgeous deer lamp! I desperately want an old pottery TV lamp, and the only thing holding me back is the fact that the top of our TV isn't flat, so it can't sit up there! D*mn.