You just can't pick a weener without some vino. I thought this would be appropriate:
And since I was preparing to feel no pain, I thought it only fair to bring the winner picker up to speed with his favorite hallucinogenic. He can smell catnip a mile off, believe me.
After spending a ridiculous amount of time writing everyone's name (many of them twice) on little slips of paper, I rolled them into balls and plopped them into a lovely vintage cut glass pedestal rose bowl. If you're going to have your pet, now high on catnip, pick the winner you really need to insert at least a bit of class into the proceedings.
By now BooBoo is screaming, jumping up and down, writhing on the floor, and intent on burying his claws in my face. He nearly nailed me:
We don't "do" catnip very often, BTW.
Next, I upended the bowl over the cat and it started raining prize balls! BooBoo, totally unimpressed, just laid there in the middle of it all.
Now here I'm getting s**tfaced but apparently the catnip high is similar to crack: intense but short-lived. So I sprinkled more on him and on the balls, scooped them into a pile, and decided the first one he showed any interest in would be the winner. The rest of the winners were chosen by the tried and true method of scooping up a handfull, throwing them at the cat and then declaring the one he batted at "Booby Prize Winner!" or "Second Place Winner!" Thank god my husband wasn't here for this or I'd be writing to you from the loony bin.
"OK!" you're screaming. "Enough of the freaking cat already! What's the Grand Prize and who won it?!!!"
Grand Prize (Limoges dish & loads of candy & stuff)
Cul de Sac Shack
First Prize (a little less but still a pile of candy & stuff)
Everyone Goes To Mick's
Second Prize (not quite so much candy & stuff)
The Lucy & Dick Show
Booby Prize (sorry Anna) (a minor reduction in the amount of candy & stuff)
Marian In Memoriam Prize (something vintage)
1950's Atomic Ranch
You Make Me Feel Good Reading Your Blog Prize(s) (something "different")
Chickens In The Basement
The Absence of Alternatives
(The cat sat on all four of these at one time so it had to be a tie. Ewwww.)
The Cat Chewed Up The Slip Your Name Was Written On But I Could Still Just Barely Read It Prize (something chewable)
You Follow My Blog But You Didn't Comment Prize:
Crazy Suburban Mom
I Never Win Anything Whiners Prize (which you'll probably whine about since you didn't win the Grand Prize. But then again you can't whine anymore since I'm making sure you DO win something)
Old Glory Cottage
Things Rattling Around In My Head
If I Didn't Have A Sense of Humor
The Alcazar Alca-Blog
and last but not least . . . Wungee
And remember, even if you didn't manage to win anything this time, I've still got so much stuff left to give away that I'm going to have to do more giveaways--so stay tuned.
Thank you all so much!!!!
ATTENTION ALL YOU LUCKY WINNERS!
SEND AN EMAIL TO ME AT firstname.lastname@example.org WITH YOUR FULL NAME AND ADDRESS AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO I CAN GET THESE OUT AND IN YOUR HANDS! I KNOW AT LEAST ONE IS GOING TO ENGLAND.